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espressOH! | Studies show that Seventeen’s Kim Mingyu is Highly Detrimental to Health

Experts determine cold turkey pointless in severe cases, chronic Mingyugitis sufferers advised to seek compensation from Pledis

Mogwai by Mogwai
November 9, 2018
in espressOH!, Korean Entertainment
1
espressOH! | Studies show that Seventeen’s Kim Mingyu is Highly Detrimental to Health

Researchers have found a recent surge of an infectious, possibly deadly, condition known as Mingyugitis, caused by 6-foot pathogen, Kim Mingyu. Sufferers may experience symptoms similar to that of a heart attack. More dangerously, these symptoms may not even truly manifest until it has fully taken hold years later.

Kim Mingyu, according to multiple medical reports, has caused thousands worldwide immeasurable agony for years. However, a recent spate of Mingyugitis sufferers after Seventeen‘s The Final Scene in Seoul concerts has left hospitals and clinics everywhere severely understaffed. Medical practitioners have never seen an epidemic of this severity.

181104 #민규
사랑해 민규야 pic.twitter.com/rO0Wh7J3Qa

— THE BOY I LOVE ? (@THEBOYILOVE_MG) November 6, 2018

Early diagnosis may help, and in rare cases, any footage of Kim Mingyu sneezing in a colleague’s direction may temporarily relieve symptoms. One may identify sufferers by the way they stare at pictures of Mingyu on social media with wild, unfocused eyes. However, initial claims that the condition disappears once Mingyu opens his mouth have been proven false. Research shows, instead, that symptoms typically worsen the more he speaks. Additionally, these symptoms may not even manifest at first, as the condition may remain seemingly dormant until its final stages.

Mingyugitis is particularly fatal whenever sufferers are faced with the duality of Mingyu. The man shifts from intense facial expressions, while clad in deep v-necks, to hunting dinosaur-shaped balloons. Not only does this put sufferers at risk of whiplash, they may also suffer from symptoms similar to that of a heart attack. Sufferers may also willingly put themselves through torture by watching Mingyu play an electric guitar live. It is a study in absurdity, I have had enough, Kim Mingyu. Shorten my lifespan anymore and I’m in my early grave. Please let me live.

Post another boyfriend Instagram update first, though.


espressOH! is nothing but OH!Pressors casually writing about random stuff. Sometimes, we want to shit on stuff. Sometimes, we want to be laid-back too.

Tags: Kim MingyuMingyuPledis EntertainmentSeventeen
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Mogwai

Mogwai

Writer by day, cat's humble servant by night.

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